Ah, yes

 I am so happy! I lost over a kilo this week and it didn't feel like I had to make myself not eat. I just wasn't hungry.

Starting weight Sept 6, 2024: 85.9 kg/189.4 lbs (BMI: 38.2)

Weight: 82.7 kg (-1.3 kg)/182.3 lbs (-2.9 lbs)

BMI: 36.8

Weight loss since Sept 6, 2024: 3.2 kg/7.1 lbs

I started taking 7 mg of Rybelsus Friday morning, as prescribed by my doctor (well, not exactly; she is out of the office for a few weeks so someone else did it. I was terrified they wouldn't). I have been feeling nauseated since Friday which have kept down intake. I was going to cheat and take an extra 3 mg, but right now it doesn't feel like I need to.

I decided to check my BMR and TDEE on SailRabbit since it was some kilos ago since I last did it. BMR was 1359 and TDEE 1494 (I am very inactive, usually keeping under 2000 steps a day). Minus 500 calories makes it 994 calories a day for a weight loss of half a kilo per week. I eat around 6-700 a day so I am at least under that.

My Saturday cheat meal this week was two cinnamon buns, since Friday was Cinnamon Bun Day. I also bought half a kilo of my favorite red seedless grapes (Dole's Apulia Rosé). It was that or the huge bag of pick n mix candy I *wanted* to buy. I also crave orange juice, but I just can't. 900 ml is almost 400 calories and it's just not worth it. I'd rather have the grapes (300 calories for 500 g).

Rybelsus

  I saw my doctor Thursday. After seven months of practically begging, she finally prescribed me Rybelsus/semaglutide (pills, not the shot). I took my first 3mg pill Friday morning and after four weeks we'll see where I'm at and discuss if I should go up to 7mg or stay on 3mg for a bit longer. I have been off my stackers for about two weeks now after the heart palpatations got so bad I seriously thought I was going to die.

My new starting weight:

Weight Sept 6, 2024 (before first pill): 85.9 kg/189.4 lbs

BMI: 38.2

When my doctor said that it was time to upgrade my diabetes meds and that she suggested Rybelsus, I almost screamed out of joy. I played it cool, though, and just agreed with everything she said. I did grin like an idiot when I left her office, almost laughing out loud; people must've thought I was crazy.

Finally

 Finally some movement, in the right direction too, despite having to take a break with my stackers (the heart palpatations were getting really bad). A bit more than half a kilo.

Weight: 85.1 kg/187.6 lbs

BMI: 37.8

Weight loss since July 16, 2024: -3.6 kg/-7.9 lbs

I'm seeing my doctor in ten days' time for a diabetes/cholesterol check-in. I don't think I have the energy to ask for semaglutide again. I want it, obviously, but fuck, I am so tired having to fight for medications. They still haven't filled my prescription for sleeping pills, despite two emails and two phone calls.

No cheat meal this Saturday; had a big bowl of cherry yoghurt instead. Couldn't be arsed to cook.

Trust me on the sun screen

  I finally got the test results from my nose thingy. It was an actinic granuloma, not cancer, nothing that had spread. It is a benign tumor that develops on sun damaged skin, especially in Nordic countries. Wear fucking sun screen, people.

Had a meeting with my GP this morning. No semaglutide. Am pissed as HELL so I am back on stackers (took one month off) although I really don't want to, but I weighed in at 88.7 kg (195.6 lbs) BMI 39.4. Fuuuuck. So, stackers, 1000 kcal, start using my mf crosstrainer, weigh-in every Wednesday and Saturday (Saturday being the official day, Wednesday just to check progress). I am tired, pissed, and feel a bit defeated.

Sleeping and eating myself to death

 I gained seven kilos when everything fell apart. I sleep most of the time and have "breakfast" at 2pm (a protein shake) and then I eat a humongous amount of crap in the evening after I've gone to bed at 6pm. Sleep is such a sweet release.

I cut off all my hair, pretty much, and dyed it black. I've had red hair since I was 16, with short breaks for pink and purple.

I'm seeing my doctor in a week's time. We're going to discuss changing my diabetes medication. I just want some fricking semaglutide, how hard can it be? I have diabetes so what's the effing problem? I don't want to change my GP office, but if that's what it's going to take to find a doctor who takes me seriously, what choice do I have?

Poor kitty

  A tiny loss, but I have been poppin' candy like a mad woman. Stress eating galore.

Weight: 84.9 kg (-0.2 kg)/187.2 lbs (-0.4 lbs)

BMI: 37.7

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.2 kg/18.1 lbs

I am so fucking tired of reading about people losing weight on semaglutide (people who doesn't even have diabetes) and here I am downing stackers because my doctor don't want to prescribe me Rybelsus.

The good news: the spot on my nose is probably not cancer. The doc I saw said it's likely Seborrheic keratosis, and I quote from Wikipedia: "seborrheic keratosis is a non-cancerous skin tumour that originates from cells, namely keratinocytes, in the outer layer of the skin called the epidermis. Like liver spots, seborrheic keratoses are seen more often as people age." So, Mother Nature is basically telling me to stop lying about my age. There is another name for SK in Swedish. Gubbmossa. That means "old man's moss." The doctor simply lifted it off with her nails (she was wearing gloves) and exposed the raw skin under. It didn't hurt and still doesn't; I clean it a couple of times a day with alsol and have another appointment next Friday. It does look like a crater, though.

The bad news: my cat has a big boo boo. He developed a bump under his jaw that had to be cut open and emptied of pus and now he has to wear a cone and is miserable. I have to force feed him anti inflammatory meds and pain killers once a day. Next vet appointment is on Monday, and hopefully the tests will show it was just a boil and not cancer. I can't afford cancer.

Google is not your friend

 I gained, but that's not my biggest problem right now.

Weight: 85.1 kg (+0.5 kg)/187.6 lbs (+1.1 lbs)

BMI: 37.8

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8 kg/17.6 lbs

I took my last penicillin pill Thursday and my first stacker Friday. The spot on my nose is no better so I'm heading to the GP Tuesday so they can write me a referral to a dermatologist. I am worried. I've had/have two relatives with skin cancer; one died.

Oh my.

  Well, well, well, I actually lost weight.

Weight: 84.6 kg (-1.1 kg)/186.5 lbs (-2.4 lbs)

BMI: 37.6

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.5 kg/10.6 lbs

I've been on antibiotics since Monday a week ago because of a mysterious spot on my nose. The doctor (not my usual one) couldn't say what it is, so he prescribed antibiotics and if it doesn't get better I have to get back to him. I decided to stop taking stackers for the duration so I've been *clean* for over a week. I haven't really watched my eating, so I was very surprised when I weighed myself yesterday and had lost over a kilo in one week. It's only because my stomach is VERY upset due to the antibiotics. I haven't been able to leave my flat in several days. I was supposed to have Easter dinner at my sister's on Saturday, but had to stay home because I didn't dare taking the bus so far (30 minutes).

So tired

 I haven't taken stackers for several days, I needed a break (should be eight weeks on, two weeks off).

Weight: 85.7 kg (+0.9 kg)/188.9 lbs (+1.9 lbs)

BMI: 38.1

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 7.4 kg/8.2 lbs

As soon as I stop taking stackers I gain, a lot. I hate taking stackers, I hate hate hate it, but what choice do I have? I have to see a doctor next week for something else and if it's my personal GP I am going to ask her about Rybelsus again. I can't go on like this.

Finally!

 I lost a kilo this week, but it was hard. 

Weight: 84.3 kg (-1 kg)/185.8 lbs (-2.3 lbs)

BMI: 37.5

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 9.2 kg/20.3 lbs

Monday morning my new doctor called again and this time I answered. Among other things we discussed my weight loss (or rather, lack of). She told me about the city's free health centre where they can help with things such as diets and I told her my diet's fine and that I eat around a thousand calories a day. "Oh, that's a bit on the low side," she said. "Well, I am 85 kilos, I need to lose weight," I said, and that part of the conversation sort of ended there. Since my blood test results were so good I asked if I could cut down on my diabetes meds because one of the side effects is a VERY upset stomach, and she said I could halve the dose. Then she said that somewhere in the future we could discuss Rybelsus again. Fingers crossed. We never touched on the topic of stackers.

My Saturday cheat meal turned into a binge. Nine nuggets and a Happy Meal with a cheeseburger, fries and baby carrots. A day later and I am still nauseated.

I'm getting a lot of money back on my taxes so I bought myself a Garmin Venu Sq 2 smartwatch and I love it. It was well worth the money and it keeps excellent track of everything. I also bought myself a new phone, a Motorola Moto G84.

Semlor

 Another tiny loss, but considering I gained during the week I'm happy with any loss. I was at 86.1 kg a couple of days ago! Probably water weight, but still. I almost fainted when I saw the number.

Weight: 85.1 kg (-0.4 kg)/187.6 lbs (-0.9 lbs)

BMI: 37.8

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.4 kg/18.5 lbs

I tried on a sports bra I bought some years back but never fit into, and now I do (I use one when sleeping). All my old bras are too large now and I use my only two *skinny* bras (80E/36DD) so I had to order some new from Germany. I also tried on my (vegan) leather jacket that I've had for three years and I can finally close the zipper! Granted, I can't breathe, but that day will come.

Now I remember why I stopped eating shirataki noodles; the texture was like eating worms. I took one bite and almost barfed.

I had a semla. A traditional semla is a cardamom bun filled with almond paste and whipped cream, but I bought an Ettan semla, where the almond paste is mixed in with the cream. It used to be eaten on Fat Tuesday, but nowadays they start selling them earlier. If I could I would eat them every day because I fucking love semlor. Unfortunately so does my cat, so I had to sneak eat it. Fun fact: king Adolf Frederick of Sweden ate himself to death, polishing off the last dinner with fourteen semlor. They're that good.

My doc at the psychiatric hospital has let me go. It was sort of mutual. I am at a stable level and have been for the last year (because I always lie when he asks me how I am doing) and there is nothing else they can offer me that I haven't tried before. My regular doctor will be responsible for my prescriptions from now on, so we'll see how that goes.

My cheat meal of the week was nine McD nuggets with curry dip and an apple pie.