Bye, bye 2023

 I lost 100 grams! Wohoo! But, seriously, I'm just glad I didn't gain because I had TWO Christmas dinners; one pre Xmas and one on Xmas Eve. The diet gods were kind. I also had 2+2 hoppy IPAs, home-brewed by my BIL. I rarely drink, maybe once or twice a year, so I got a bit drunk, but not blotto. It was fun.

Weight: 88.1 kg/194.2 lbs

BMI: 39.2

Weight loss since Sept 16: 5.4 kg/11.9 lbs

So, the last day of 2023. What a year. I hope 2024 will be better; hopefully the year when I reach my target weight and get debt free. The year when I exchange my pink bracelet for a red one. I know it's sick to wish for Ana, but I am sick of being fat, I am sick of eating. I want to be so skinny that I rot from view.

I saw the crush on the bus as we were getting off yesterday. I almost swallowed my tongue and didn't dare say Hi. I haven't seen him since last spring; I thought he left town. But I don't want him, not in that way. I want what we had, which was fun and easygoing banter. I still identify as asexual and have no desire to change that.

I cut my hair for the first time in four and a half years. It was down to my waist, now I have an undercut and a bit longer on top. It feels wonderful to get rid of all that hair. I stopped cutting it when I broke up with my ex, so now it feels as if I have gone past the grief onto the other side. I feel free.

This is the pic I showed my stylist and what I got, except I have henna red hair

Just for fun I calculated how much I would weigh in a year's time if I eat 1000 calories a day. One calculator said 58 kilos, the other 50. Either way, I would be very happy being under 60 by next Christmas. I'm not greedy.

Happy holidays!

 I went awol there for a while. Life has been chaos. But now I'm back, and lost almost two kilos in one week.

Weight: 88.2 kg/194.4 lbs

BMI: 39.2

Weight loss since Sept 16: 5.3 kg/4.2 lbs

Yeah, the past two weeks were pretty awful. And that's all I have to say about that.

Went to my sister's yesterday for a pre-Christmas dinner. My brother and his fiancée are working Christmas Eve (the big day in Sweden) so we met up together with mum and had a awesome time. No Christmas food, but spare ribs, fried chicken, potato salad, grilled cabbage, my brother's finacées cheese cake, my BIL's home-brewed IPA and other beers; it was so good and so much fun. Got home at 9.30 pm, woke up for a moment at 3 am because I was throwing up in my sleep and then had a hard time falling back to sleep, but when I did, I slept until 2 pm. And tomorrow I'm heading back for more.

Correction

 I gained this week according to my scales, but I am 99% certain that is a lie. I didn't lose over 3 kilos last week, that is just not possible. I also only weighed myself once; I usually do it 2-3 times just to be sure.

Weight: 90.1 kg/198.6 lbs

BMI: 40

Weight loss since Sept 16: 3.4 kg/7.5 lbs

Since I didn't really gain this week, I decided to have a McD cheat meal anyway; nine nuggets, a medium fries, OJ and an apple pie.

I've been quite ill this week, in either a really bad cold o the 'rona. I was so tired I just went from my bed to the sofa and back. I was awake two nights despite being dog tired and kept my calorie intake under 1400 two days, under 1200 twice and under 1000 twice.

I upped my stackers to two a day to get the buzz back. I hope it will show next Saturday.

One nice thing is that I evidently have lost weight on my legs (not just the ankles) because I've had to buy new pants. I bought two pair of slim fit stretch jeans, one pair of thick sweatpants and one pair of lined pants because it's so cold right now. I am currently wearing lined pants, sheepskin slippers, a t-shirt, a knitted sweater, a thick cardigan and fingerless gloves. It was so cold last night I had to wear a cardigan and gloves plus a thick extra blanket to bed. But I'm not complaining, I love this weather. It's been snowing all day and if we're lucky we'll have a white Christmas for once.

Phew

 I'm back on track, thank the gods. Down 3.3 kg (7.3 lbs) since last week.

Weight: 89.7 kg/197.8 lbs

BMI: 39.9

Weight loss since Sept 16: 3.8 kg/8.3 lbs

I ate over 1500 calories three days and under 900 calories twice. I was awake two nights. No cheat meal last week due to the massive weight gain.

I couldn't really afford a cheat meal this week, but the cravings (and the great weight loss) warranted some sushi. Almost 900 calories in one go, but that's as usual. I've got a week to work it off.

I ate about 2/3 of it

If I lose a kilo a week I will be under 70 kilos by my birthday. A girl can dream, right?

Guess where I've lost the most weight? Not on my face, which would be lovely, but on my ankles. How fucking pathetic is that? My socks don't roll down anymore because my calves are too fat, that's how I noticed.