What a week

 This past week has been horrid. Little sleep, lots of ice lollies, proper food (in contrast to quark for dinner). I didn't even logg all my calories on MFP; I was too scared to see the numbers. I'm just glad I didn't gain this week.

Weight: 86.1 kg/189.8 lbs

BMI: 38.3

Weight loss since July 14, 2024: -1.5 kg/-3.3 lbs

Six and a half weeks after surgery I could finally take off the big-ass plaster on my nose. I only have to cover it up if I go outside to protect the baby skin from the sun, but I no longer need it at home. It's a dark pink crater the size of a thumb print, but I really don't care. 

My cheat meal Saturday was four American pancakes (instead of the usual three) but it was well below my calorie limit, so I had another one Sunday: House Foods Japanese curry with Japanese rice (340 kcal).

My family called the cops on me again. Then my brother came over and rang my door bell and knocked on the door for like half an hour. I was sitting on the edge of my bed just crying, wishing him to go away.

On the wagon, again

  I have started with rather heavy restriction again, trying to quickly lose the extra weight I gained when my life collapsed. I allow myself 1100 calories per day (TDEE minus 500 calories) but this week I usually ate less. My average from Sunday 14th to Friday 19th was 916 calories per day (Saturday is cheat meal-day). The only thing I didn't count were my six kinds of supplements per day.

Weight: 86.1 kg/189.8 lbs

BMI: 38.3

Weight loss since July 14, 2024: -1.5 kg/-3.3 lbs

Highest weight this week was 88.7 kilos/195.6 lbs on the 16th, so I lost 2.6 kilos/5.7 lbs in three days. I barely slept the night Friday/Saturday so the scale didn't move Saturday morning.

My meal plan this week has been very ARFID Plus/OCD-ish. Protein shake with added collagen powder made with unsweetened almond milk (instead of water) for breakfast (240 kcal); dinner 150 g of quark (80 kcal) or yoghurt (120 kcal); and evening meal of four thin small crisp bread with two wedges of Laughing Cow cheese and two ice lollies (320 kcal). I allowed myself one extra ice lolly (55 kcal) during the day if I felt the urge to binge, as well as one Pepsi Max (2 kcal). I had some normal-sized crisp bread with vegan caviar twice and THREE extra ice lollies one night when I couldn't sleep.

This week's Saturday cheat meal was supposed to be half a sub from Subway and perhaps even a chocolate chip cookie, but then life happened and I just couldn't make myself take the bus downtown, so I had a ProPud Chocolate Milkshake, some chocolate chip cookies, two crisp bread with vegan caviar and a small bowl of cherries instead.

Trust me on the sun screen

  I finally got the test results from my nose thingy. It was an actinic granuloma, not cancer, nothing that had spread. It is a benign tumor that develops on sun damaged skin, especially in Nordic countries. Wear fucking sun screen, people.

Had a meeting with my GP this morning. No semaglutide. Am pissed as HELL so I am back on stackers (took one month off) although I really don't want to, but I weighed in at 88.7 kg (195.6 lbs) BMI 39.4. Fuuuuck. So, stackers, 1000 kcal, start using my mf crosstrainer, weigh-in every Wednesday and Saturday (Saturday being the official day, Wednesday just to check progress). I am tired, pissed, and feel a bit defeated.

Sleeping and eating myself to death

 I gained seven kilos when everything fell apart. I sleep most of the time and have "breakfast" at 2pm (a protein shake) and then I eat a humongous amount of crap in the evening after I've gone to bed at 6pm. Sleep is such a sweet release.

I cut off all my hair, pretty much, and dyed it black. I've had red hair since I was 16, with short breaks for pink and purple.

I'm seeing my doctor in a week's time. We're going to discuss changing my diabetes medication. I just want some fricking semaglutide, how hard can it be? I have diabetes so what's the effing problem? I don't want to change my GP office, but if that's what it's going to take to find a doctor who takes me seriously, what choice do I have?