Oh my.

  Well, well, well, I actually lost weight.

Weight: 84.6 kg (-1.1 kg)/186.5 lbs (-2.4 lbs)

BMI: 37.6

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.5 kg/10.6 lbs

I've been on antibiotics since Monday a week ago because of a mysterious spot on my nose. The doctor (not my usual one) couldn't say what it is, so he prescribed antibiotics and if it doesn't get better I have to get back to him. I decided to stop taking stackers for the duration so I've been *clean* for over a week. I haven't really watched my eating, so I was very surprised when I weighed myself yesterday and had lost over a kilo in one week. It's only because my stomach is VERY upset due to the antibiotics. I haven't been able to leave my flat in several days. I was supposed to have Easter dinner at my sister's on Saturday, but had to stay home because I didn't dare taking the bus so far (30 minutes).

So tired

 I haven't taken stackers for several days, I needed a break (should be eight weeks on, two weeks off).

Weight: 85.7 kg (+0.9 kg)/188.9 lbs (+1.9 lbs)

BMI: 38.1

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 7.4 kg/8.2 lbs

As soon as I stop taking stackers I gain, a lot. I hate taking stackers, I hate hate hate it, but what choice do I have? I have to see a doctor next week for something else and if it's my personal GP I am going to ask her about Rybelsus again. I can't go on like this.

A short one

  Aaand I gained it back.

Weight: 84.8 kg (+0.5 kg)/187 lbs (+1.2 lbs)

BMI: 37.7

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.3 kg/10.1 lbs

I didn't sleep for two nights because the fucking pharmacist couldn't read the fucking computer screen and give me my fucking sleeping pills. I am still upset and I am never going back to that pharmacy. He made me think that I couldn't get any new until two weeks ahead and it wasn't until I was home again that I remembered that I was short on pills because I only got half my prescription the last time. So, back downtown the next day (in the pouring rain) to another pharmacy where the lady did know how to fucking read and I finally got my goddamn pills. I was so tired Friday and Saturday after the sleepless nights that I was shaking. I slept for 13 hours Saturday/Sunday night.

Finally!

 I lost a kilo this week, but it was hard. 

Weight: 84.3 kg (-1 kg)/185.8 lbs (-2.3 lbs)

BMI: 37.5

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 9.2 kg/20.3 lbs

Monday morning my new doctor called again and this time I answered. Among other things we discussed my weight loss (or rather, lack of). She told me about the city's free health centre where they can help with things such as diets and I told her my diet's fine and that I eat around a thousand calories a day. "Oh, that's a bit on the low side," she said. "Well, I am 85 kilos, I need to lose weight," I said, and that part of the conversation sort of ended there. Since my blood test results were so good I asked if I could cut down on my diabetes meds because one of the side effects is a VERY upset stomach, and she said I could halve the dose. Then she said that somewhere in the future we could discuss Rybelsus again. Fingers crossed. We never touched on the topic of stackers.

My Saturday cheat meal turned into a binge. Nine nuggets and a Happy Meal with a cheeseburger, fries and baby carrots. A day later and I am still nauseated.

I'm getting a lot of money back on my taxes so I bought myself a Garmin Venu Sq 2 smartwatch and I love it. It was well worth the money and it keeps excellent track of everything. I also bought myself a new phone, a Motorola Moto G84.

Old new clothes

 

I gained, but I am not surprised. I only slept a few hours between Tuesday and Friday and the whole week was a shit show.

 

Weight: 85.3 kg (+0.2 kg)/188.1 lbs (+0.5 lbs)

BMI: 37.9

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.2 kg/18 lbs

I wrote my doctor's office an email asking for Rybelsus (oral semaglutide, for diabetes 2) after my nurse decided I didn't need it. I told them about my stackers. I told them my weight and BMI. I told them about my high blood pressure and cholesterol. I told them I couldn't lose the weight on my own. A couple of days later I got the answer that their diabetes doc didn't think I should change medications. So that was that. I am so fucking disappointed. I also wrote in my letter that I DON'T want them to call me, DON'T in capital letters; that if they wanted to contact me it had to be through the health app. They scheduled a call for Friday morning. I did not answer.

I wasn't supposed to have a cheat meal this week due to the gain, but then I thought "fuck it" and had one of my all-time favourites: Kraft's Mac 'n' Cheese with a can of tuna and Heinz ketchup with less salt and sugar. It was my staple food when I lived in the States, real comfort food, and I needed some fucking comfort. Then I bit into something hard and almost threw up, so I ended up eating only half.

I found a box full of clothes that I bought some years ago when I thought I was going to lose weight but never did, but now I am, so suddenly I have a lot of clothes that fit. Three sets of pyjamas (my two Nightmare Before Christmas finally fit!), tops, summer clothes, oh my!

Semlor

 Another tiny loss, but considering I gained during the week I'm happy with any loss. I was at 86.1 kg a couple of days ago! Probably water weight, but still. I almost fainted when I saw the number.

Weight: 85.1 kg (-0.4 kg)/187.6 lbs (-0.9 lbs)

BMI: 37.8

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8.4 kg/18.5 lbs

I tried on a sports bra I bought some years back but never fit into, and now I do (I use one when sleeping). All my old bras are too large now and I use my only two *skinny* bras (80E/36DD) so I had to order some new from Germany. I also tried on my (vegan) leather jacket that I've had for three years and I can finally close the zipper! Granted, I can't breathe, but that day will come.

Now I remember why I stopped eating shirataki noodles; the texture was like eating worms. I took one bite and almost barfed.

I had a semla. A traditional semla is a cardamom bun filled with almond paste and whipped cream, but I bought an Ettan semla, where the almond paste is mixed in with the cream. It used to be eaten on Fat Tuesday, but nowadays they start selling them earlier. If I could I would eat them every day because I fucking love semlor. Unfortunately so does my cat, so I had to sneak eat it. Fun fact: king Adolf Frederick of Sweden ate himself to death, polishing off the last dinner with fourteen semlor. They're that good.

My doc at the psychiatric hospital has let me go. It was sort of mutual. I am at a stable level and have been for the last year (because I always lie when he asks me how I am doing) and there is nothing else they can offer me that I haven't tried before. My regular doctor will be responsible for my prescriptions from now on, so we'll see how that goes.

My cheat meal of the week was nine McD nuggets with curry dip and an apple pie.

Help, I've fallen and can't get up

 What a week. Why can't I sleep? Why is my weight loss so slow? Don't answer that, please.

Weight: 85.5 kg (-0.5 kg)/188.5 lbs (-1.1 lbs)

BMI: 38

Weight loss since Sept 16, 2023: 8 kg/17.6 lbs

I had this week's cheat meal on Friday, when li'l bro and I went to see mum and we had take-away. Orange chicken, spicy lime chicken and fried rice for me, with a large lingonberry juice.

I have fallen into the hole that is Amberlynn Reid. I was just going to watch a reaction video on YouTube by Sean of Steel (love that guy) and now I can't stop. One part of me feels sorry for her childhood and one part, the largest part, makes me want to slap some sense into her. Stop eating all that junk! Get moving! Be nicer to people, especially your girlfriends (poor Destiny, I really liked her)!

I've finally started using my cross trainer. Holy crap, my legs! I can't do any long stretches yet, but I get on it several times a day. I do not calculate calories burned because that doesn't matter since I don't eat them back (it's too imprecise for me).

In my quest for the ideal dinner I have decided to give shirataki noodles another go. I went online to one of my two favourite Japanese/Asian stores and ordered both ramen and udon spice mixes to spice them up a bit. Eating 650 calories a day is fine, albeit a bit boring, but even if I eat shirataki noodles with a curry sauce the whole day is still under 1000 calories so I should be okay. Right?

I've been bitching about how the only thing that's slimmed down so far are my ankles, but today in the shower I noticed that I now can see my navel. My stomach used to be so big and taut that the navel was sort of underneath, but now it has migrated north. It's those little things.

What I eat in a day, photo edition:

Brunch (12:30pm) is a protein shake (ice coffee) with collagen and Dulcosoft Plus (to soften my stool). Not pictured is the unsweetened almond milk (250 ml). ~237 calories.

Dinner (4pm) is one of three different miso soups. 160 ml, 30 calories.

Or...

Rose hip soup or blueberry soup, both without added sugar. 36/38 calories for 200 ml.

Evening meal (7pm) is an ice lolly, a carrot, two crisp bread, and, as a backup, one out of two N!CK's protein bars (coconut or peanut caramel). ~375 calories.

My daily supplements. Oxytarm (to get my bowels moving), Silicea, PlaqueOff, Sun, vitamin D with ginger and turmeric, B complex with vitamin C, and Omega 3 Forte (I take 2000mg).

I added the rose hip and blueberry soups so I get some variety. I don't feel comfortable eating soy every day, because it can fuck up your thyroid.